back to work i go

now, don't get me wrong. i'm very thankful to have a job.  i'm very thankful to have a job that i love....well, maybe not the work part, but the kids i adore!  this past monday was my first day back after being gone for eleven, yes ELEVEN weeks!  those eleven weeks flew by incredibly fast.

my first cry was actually on sunday as i was getting ready to go to church.  the following conversation took place between jake and i::

jake: mommy, can we play that tick-tock crock game tomorrow?
me: we can when i get back from school.
jake: mommy, you not going to play with me tomorrow?
me: i have to go back to work tomorrow, buddy.
jake: mommy, i'm gonna miss you! (in his saddest face EVER)
me: (busting out into tears) i'm gonna miss you more!
jake: mommy, i love you.
me: i love you too, buddy.  you're my sweet boy.

then, the dreaded monday morning came.  my mom came over to take care of jake and allie.  i was fine until i had to kiss them both goodbye.  yep, i lost it.  i cried.  i'm not even sure why i even more make up that day!  i pulled myself back together before i got to school. as i walked in, i was greeted by lots of sweet smiling faces, but my smile back at them was fake.  i was holding back the tears.  i won't lie.  it was soooo hard to walk through those doors.  when i saw my friend dana (who teaches in the room beside me), i lost it again.   i think when you're comfortable around someone, you let your true feelings show.  once again, i pulled myself back together and walked to my room.  all my kids were so excited to see me....and the feeling was mutual.  seeing them warmed my heart.  they wanted to hear all about allie.  then our assistant principal walked in to welcome me back and you guessed it, i cried again.

yes, i was a basket case on my first day back.  i'm not ashamed...not one little bit.  i love jake and allie (and josh too) with all my heart.  as soon as 3:30 comes, i'm outta there......no matter what.  time with jake and allie is so very precious to me and i don't want to miss a minute more than i have to.  only 20 more days of school left.....and that makes this mommy happy, happy, happy!!!