it's all a big blur

i was watching a baby story on TLC and saw a teeny tiny baby that reminded me of jake. i tried to remember what it was like bringing jake home and holding such a small baby....and i could only remember bits and pieces of those first few weeks at home. no one was lying when they said that looking back on those first few weeks of being at home would be a big blur. so last night, i asked josh a million and one questions about my labor, coming home from the hospital, and those first few weeks. i asked him "when did you know i was in labor?" he said "when you started to moan and scream because you were in so much pain." he also said that i impressed him. (he's so sweet) he said that he couldn't believe how quickly i made progress (dilating) and how well i dealt with the pain. he said he was especially proud of me (and shocked at the same time) when i decided to get the epidural...he said this is what i said before i got it: "i'm a stupid woman...i can't believe i'm gonna let you (the anesthesiologist) stick a needle in my back..i'm a stupid woman, etc" (hilarious now...not so much then). i also couldn't remember if he had on the blue scrubs and if they put at blue hat on me before the c-section. he said yes to both of those questions. then, the questions about the first few weeks began....he said that we were up about every 2 hours during the night taking care of jake. he said not only was he taking care of jake, but he was taking care of me too. he said i needed help in and out of the bed, walking, getting up and down off the couch, etc. (i remember needing help getting in and out of the bed and having to sleep with about 50 (just kidding) pillows to accommodate my "uncomfortable-ness", if you will.) the questions went on and on. i guess i'm kinda glad it's a blur...or else we might not have any more kids.

then we discussed how amazing it is that your body just adjusts to having so little sleep, yet you can still function the next day. now, josh and i love our sleep, but we both agreed that jake is totally worth it. we love this child so much and would do anything for him. and that's only a fraction of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. josh and i pray for strength and for jake to continue growing strong and healthy. we can't wait to do little devotions with him at bedtime and tell him of the love that our Heavenly Father has for him. then josh made me laugh. he said that he used to say prayers like this: "dear God, thank you for the birds, mommy and daddy, the rocks, the dogs, the kitchen, food, etc." we both laughed and agreed that we can't wait for jake to say little prayers like that. i guess now that things are settling down, everything won't be such a blur anymore. i sure hope not, anyway. i want to cherish these moments with jake because all to soon, he'll be one, then two, then before we know it, 20!!!